Creating Waves of Awareness
So this is a young patient Ihad been seeing since birth. She had presented with reoccuring fevers, very slow development, fear of people, and most recently crumbling teeth and copious hair loss. She had been given lots of remedies with some success (Calc, Gels, Ph-ac, Op) but I had not found the simillimum. With the appearance of the teeth and hair problems I knew that her miasmatic state had not been addressed.
Hair is falling out on head, started as two small patches, has spread
More teeth have crumbled – they go brownish colored, the enamel has not got the proper coating, it seems like the centre of the tooth is discoloring, bits break off
Rashes on the skin, legs and arms – blisters on the hands
Scratches them during sleep, in bed
Rashes on bottoms of feet, on occiput
Scratch until it bleed, turned into wound
Started talking about her dreams, talks about sharks
Says she sees a shark near her curtain
It is only at night – she is disturbed by it, not fearful, and doesn’t talk about them at any other time, not affected by seeing them on TV
She says that she likes sharks, that she loves them – doesn’t say that about any other animal
Relationship between her and her sister, screaming, go berserk
What is she like?
Cries and screams, hits herself, slap her own head
Doesn’t strike anyone or anything else
Really gets angry
Still not toilet trained
She doesn’t have control, doesn’t know when it is coming
Had surgery for her teeth, hasn’t needed painkillers for it
Still walks with some awkwardness (observation: legs look bowed, weak, unsteady)
Now I had seen this patient several times before, I had taken symptoms over and over. I had taken the mother's case, all her sisters had been to see me and had done quite well. But this case was a problem - I wasn't sure where to go. So I took an approach I have found very useful in the past - I closely examined the mother's state during pregnancy. What was interesting about doing this, was that I had already treated the mother during both this pregnancy and her previous one. The states during those pregnancies were completely different.
Tell me about the pregnancy?
Physically I can’t remember anything different
It wasn’t happy news when I found out
I was pissed off
I felt stupid that I got myself into that situation
I had taken that risk
Kept the pregnancy to myself
I knew I was keeping her
I didn’t share the news
I didn’t think anyone would be supportive
I was negative myself
Even family or friends
They will think I am sleeping with other people, or they will think I am sleeping with ex-partner
I didn’t want people to think I was – wanted them to see me as moral, upstanding
I didn’t have time to go build relationships with people
I didn’t want people to think I was having one-night stands
Once I was showing, I wanted everyone to know that I was separated, but that I had control
That was a clear shift
The pregnancy was a clear sign that I had separated from him but that I had slept with him
There was this other lady he was sleeping with
That circle of friends I was half-involved with
That lady thought he wasn’t sleeping with me
If I disconnected from the pregnancy how will I manage ?
I wouldn’t have the strength to have deal with it if the father had still been with me
It was fine that we were separated
By the time I was showing, I had sorted out the shock
Still wanted people to know that I wasn’t with him
I even denied it myself for the first 2-3 months
How was this different from the other pregnancies?
Once I found out I wasn’t happy
Kept it from people
I was afraid of running into people I know
If they knew that I was pregnant, people would act on it, it was terrifying
They would report it to the authorities
I would be tracked and traced, taken into custody
Talk about that, tracked traced custody
Not only the fear then of what would happen to the baby, but the care of the other children
I thought the father would report me
I would lose control and power over the pregnancy
They would take the child from me
I had plans, money I could take without ATMS, how we could survive
Like a war, like an army
Like an underground army
Had to be subversive
That changed me
I like to be up front
I forgot that people judge that it isn’t the right way of things
Speaking out could be dangerous
It was like having another identity
Not being able to be found or traced
Even if they heard I was pregnant, would they be able to find me and come to get me
Felt that my location was hidden, but I had to plan for what if it wasn’t
I could be taken
Who could I ring to look after the kids?
Highly protective of all the kids
If any emergency came up, I had to gather them, get everybody together
I had to keep all the kids close
I would have to get all the kids together in a hurry, we might have to take off
I forget sometimes that the authorities don’t know she exists
I tried to work out if I didn’t have to register her would she have to go to school
Who would have to live this way?
Good at planning
What is their situation?
To the core
For your survival, you have to do something away from the mainstream, you are really against it, it is for your survival
Constant state of panic
You are on edge
Second guess everybody as to their intentions – I thought people would be wanted to share the news, but the sh*t would happen
What were they trying to survive?
They weren’t saving themselves, they were saving lives
Connection in the pregnancy, not about me, it was all about protecting the baby
The desperation wasn’t for my own life
Because of their belief – they were doing what they were doing
Persecution of others
Prepared to risk everything do what it takes, to preserve other people
What were you willing to do?
I would go as far as I could, whatever it took
Would they use the other kids to get to me
Made them nervous of authority
I had to lock up
They could take the kids
No-one knew of all of this
Felt like I could have been violent if I needed to
So now I am beginning to get the idea. The depth and pace of her state at this time was one of desperation, where one's life was in danger and you are willing to do anything because it is so desperate, even violence. You are pursued like a criminal, you could be thrown into prison, have your children taken away from you. This is the SYPHILITIC miasm. This made perfect sense when I considered again the child's slow develpment, crumbling teeth and baldness - all well known syphilitic qualities. However this was all new behavior for the Mother, who lost most of those feelings once the baby was born.
Talk about Conned, Ripped off, Deceived? (These are words she had used frequently in much earlier consultation, which had lead me to prescribe Ruta with some success)
You are gullible
It is my fault
You did not see it for what it is
The truth always presents itself
Conned and deceived
Pretty it up, make it the way you want it to be - someone makes something prettier than it really is
I take the blame
Being deceived, why didn’t I see it
Tell me about something being pretty, not seeing it for the way it really is?
Expecting it to be good, it is there to benefit you, you see the good side
But it is not
You have deceived yourself, conned yourself
Presented in all its ugliness, you should have seen it
Not wanting to see the evils
You are protecting yourself
They have shrouded it in falseness – you only see the goodness, it is not goodness
This is odd, what is she describing?- you are deceived because what you are looking at appears to be good and pretty, but in fact is ugly and evil. Strange, I hadn't heard this before - so of course I had to pursue it.
What happens in such a situation?
If they don’t discover it is evil, it is ok
It has got to show itself
If you are only seeing the pretty, building more pretty, evil has to intensify to show through
It is so devastating, you wish you had seen it early
Effect of that?
(gestures are becoming more pronounced here, we are getting to the energy of the case)
Instead of being all out there, (hands close together), you are smaller
You start to disappear
You are getting squashed
(hands are closing and opening)
You are just gone (smacks hands together) violent and sudden, instant
You are crushed, insignificant, lonely, nobody knows you are there
Just make that gesture, and talk about that stuff again
Crushed, in this small space, like this (puts both hand together, opens them up but keeps the bottom of the palms joined, she then closes the hands together and interlocks the fingers)
There is no hope in there, you are trapped, dead, crushed
Before that it looked safe, but then (smacks hands together again) you are gone!
So this is the sensation - deceived by something that appears good but is actually evil, it traps you and then you are crushed with no hope, dead and gone.
I had prescribed with success for the mother the remedy Cactus, for a debilitating claustrophobia, some years in the past. The sensation had been similar then - trapped, crushed, squashed. While she had a marked and positive result (the claustrophobia vanished never to return) her life did not change in many other ways although this specific suffering lifted. She was a single mother with not only her own 3 daughters, but she was looking after 2 children from her ex-partner. She devoted herself completely to them and was constantly exhausted, constantly anxious, with little enjoyment. So Cactus was a partial similar.
The sensation belongs to the Carnivorous Plant family - Drosera being the most well-known member of that family. Deceived, tricked, betrayed, fooled, stabbed in the back, conned along with feelings of being Trapped, Restricted, Choked, Suffocated, Killed. This is the feeling of the insect caught in the various traps these plants create - what appears beautiful and tempting, becomes deadly and you are killed.
Based on the mother's description of this pregnancy, I prescribed Nepenthes for the child, which is the syphilitic member of the family. For the mother I prescribed Dionaea muscipula - the venus flytrap - and I did this on the basis of the gesture once I understood group sensation. You can differentiate between the carnivorous plants on the basis of the specific trap they use.
You will also notice with these plants many animal sensations - this group partakes of both the animal and plant kingdom which makes them unique. In fact you will often see many Insect themes being expressed by these patients which might make it difficult to differentiate them.
Prescription for the Child = Nepen 200, 1 drop ½ cup, 1 tsp
Prescription for the Mother - Dion-m 200, 1 drop, full cup, 1 tsp
I will follow the child's progress since this is the purpose of this example. I will point out though that I was wrong in the mother's case and this remedy was not her simillimum. In fact, her mother had an extremely serious pathology that became apparent when I sent her for medical testing, and she was taken out of my care due to legal and ethical considerations. It was a great tragedy. Despite this, the remedy, for awhile at least, made her feel much better in herself, even to the point of breaking old patterns and causing her to make many positive changes in her life. However, the advanced tissue changes were unaffected, and so I realised that the remedy could only have been a partial similar. I believe I would have been required to focus on the pathology itself, and I did not become aware of its presence until it was too late for me to remain involved in her treatment.
Follow-up 5 weeks later
Reaction of child:
Not much at first, behavior became much better, but hair didn’t change
After 1 ½ weeks, repeated the dose (at my direction).
Then she got that floppiness, sore neck, headaches, didn’t want to walk, rolled eyes back into her head, sore feet, fevers (all old symptoms)
She was sick for about a week
The hair began to grow back (17 days after first dose)
Hair is currently about 50% grown back
Anything else you have noticed?
She gets the odd blisters on the fingers, between the toes but those are much better
Face has stayed clear now no eruptions at all
Not as itching as much as she had been - just occasionally
She has screamed in frustration, but not exactly anger
Then she will burst into tears and tell her mother that she loves her
She was always frustrated like that, but she never apologized and wanted affection before
She used to hide her face and put her face on the ground - now she comes to me and seems genuinely sorry about it. We can talk about it now, before she was just inconsolable
The dreams of sharks stopped until the last 2 days, slight fever last 2 days as well (dreams and fever occurred together)
She is talking better, she made a jump in her ability to speak after the first fever (second dose of remedy)
She speaks in whole sentences now, rather than sounds and single words
She has more confidence now, she is better with people, not afraid of them anymore - I would say she is still shy but definitely not fearful
She is throwing things when angry now, that is new behavior
Prescription = redose but with a full cup of water
Next Follow-up 4 months later
(patient has most of her hair now, small thinner patches at the front/sides; she is walking very straight now, no bowed legs)
Over the last 3-4 weeks, the screaming started again, behavior started to regress
Up until then she was great. She only had that one more dose (3 months before this regression of behavior)
She started complaining of a stomach ache, some vomiting
She got an earache and a fever, hot head and neck, < night > daytime – about 2 months ago
She got another earache yesterday, swollen gland under the right ear, pain in the right ear
Grizzly (weepy) with the pain
Fever again (just the head, body temp is normal)
This is an acute I had seen a lot of recently. However some of the old chronic state is being aggravated so cure is not complete.
I am looking at this child while her mother speaks - when last I saw her she was a funny little baby even at 4, chubby, fearful, balding, with blackened teeth, who couldn't walk properly, holding on to her mother's hand, not wanting to talk and even when she did, it was in barely comprehensible single words.
Now she was a little girl, slender, taller, she walked with no problem, sat smiling and speaking in whole sentences. Her hair was almost completely grown back, her skin was clear. She was able to answer my questions and I could understand her. She looked so much like her older (healthier) sisters. It was a remarkable transformation. I barely recognized her! She seriously looked like a completely different child.
Tell me about the regression
She started screaming in anger at her sister
She is resisting toilet training, she wants to stay in her nappy, she wants to still be a baby (her words - she tells me this)
Blisters on the hand and feet came back about 5 weeks ago
Nails don’t grow much, only had to cut them once
Hair still isn’t growing fast
She would ask if her mother loves her when she was crying – less of that, but has returned a bit
Only the head-localized fever
She says she is not having the shark dreams anymore
Talks about her father a lot – not upset when she talks about him though
So it is a mild relapse, although I don't believe that she was 100% better from just the 3 doses she has had.
Prescription = repeat as before which caused all those symptoms to vanish and the mother has been quite happy with her since
The child returned for an acute complaint about 6 months later, presenting with heavy drooling, a heavily ulcerated mouth, and foul breath. I gave her a single dose of Merc 200 and it cleared these symptoms easily. Even in her acutes she did not seem to stray far from the Syphilitic pattern. She caught up easily with other children her own age, and looked exactly like her much more healthy sisters.
Further notes on my analysis of the case:
I found myself thinking of the animal kingdom when she described the pregnancy. You can see the similarities here between this group and the animal kingdom. One thing I have learned though is to not even make assumptions about kingdom themes. I wait until the case has turned a full circle or they cannot go any further before looking at the whole case to see what is being described.