A Case of Anonymity

[David Kempson]

Presenting symptoms:

 

I suck at relationships

Poor decision making

Easily influenced by others, easily lead

Talked into being in relationships I don’t want to be in

I talk myself into a state of happiness

They leave me, I get hurt

I get upset

I tend to attract people who aren’t that great

Poor self-esteem

 

First girlfriend, I slept with her on my birthday, then she didn’t contact me for 6 months

She burned me

She told me I wasn’t attractive, I kept her at arm’s length

I got caught up in the relationship, moved with her, supported her, left her, then had an affair with a married woman

I had a melt down

I do all these sh*t things

 

Second girlfriend, just broke up with her yesterday

I was unattractive, the other boys were more attractive

I ran into her, I got caught up in someone being nice to me

She cheated on me, took her back

She is really suspicious-acting, she would break up with me, sleep with someone else, I would act out and sleep with someone else

 

She thought because we weren’t both nice people, then we deserve each other

It has created this promiscuousness in me

I was trying to square it up, get revenge, I didn’t feel good doing it but I did it anyway

 

I have gone girl crazy

So caught up in girls, I have left behind my independenc

Takes up so much of my head-space

The way I get attention, is to create all this drama

I fight with them to get attention

I am very dramatic

I am not very affectionate

I go looking for attention by creating dramas, antagonizing them

 

Tell me about attention

 

I have low self esteem, I am insecure

I pick girls that are somewhat below me, I need them to worship me and I don’t like it if they don’t

 

I used to have fun without girlfriends

I don’t know what happened

I had this friend who moved in, he gave me all this attention, spent all our time together

I went from being a loser to someone who had a cool friend, everyone thought he was so cool

It was like someone said I was ok

I missed out on that in my school years

Found out he was gay, maybe I was gay

 

What did you get from this friendship?

 

I got an identity

I could walk into a bar with him and people noticed me

I didn’t have a lot of friends at school

Never been that close with people

 

What identity did you have before that?

 

I was the coolest person in my group of nerdy friends

I was like the cool one of my group

Close friendship, I had never had that with anyone before

Really thoughtful

Very close to my family, but never with a friend

 

I went from being fully on my own, to always having someone around to stimulate me

She was always telling me what to do

I had a leader

I didn’t know what was fun to do

I am not that outgoing

It was easy

I tend to do what a partner does

I don’t mind that, I am easy going

She was a tremendous giver, I was a tremendous receiver

I was a failure socially

She has ruined me for my girlfriends

 

Around my family I am bossy, the leader

With my friends, I like them to tell me what to do

I do what they want, until I realize I am doing things I don’t want to do

Those people are fun but unreliable

 

I am flattery operated

I stick around for the attention, for flattery

I stick around for the drama I create as well

I don’t know why I stick around

 

I pick people that are projects

I try to pick people that won’t leave me

I can see their faults, people that aren’t good so they won’t leave me

 

I wasn’t into having affairs or sleeping with other people

I did this sh*t thing to my girlfriend, I wasn’t coping with it

I told this girl, my second girlfriend, and she thought that is what I was like

She slept with someone, and I thought, well that is ok, we are not together, I felt bad about what I had done

Me cheating on my first girlfriend, made it ok for her to do that to me

It was karma, it was what I deserved

 

She was extremely controlling, extremely jealous

I would flirt with other girls

I slept with my ex-girlfriend a few times

That is just the way that we are

On the surface she is magic, I would get caught up

She was funny and smart, a people person

I liked that on the surface he was generous and fun

Everybody loved her, so everyone thought we were great

People would gather around us, she would tell jokes

We were like a show, we would tell jokes

But underneath she was a messy unit

 

I get drawn into that

(lots of big gestures, hands in and out from chest)

I like it when she comes back to me

She always comes back to me

The drama, the hype

 

Neither of these girls are who I want

I am mean, she does love me

 

I know what I want to do but I get sucked in, the salesman’s pitch

I can’t tell her to go, because I worry about her, she doesn’t have any family

 

Why do you do what other people want all the time?

 

I don’t really know what I want

I have trouble making decisions about most things

If someone else wants to do something, I will do that, I don’t really know what I want

Every time I am with a girl, I eat eggs the way she wants them

I am vegetarian, so that I have less choice when I go out

It gives me an identity

My friends call me Mr Anonymous

I have no identity

Analysis

 

This is a case full of story and drama. What is his problem though, where is the disease in all of this? How do we focus and find the remedy with confidence?

 

What is the backdrop on which his problem appears – it is the theme of relationships, love and hate, of determining who he is compared to other people.

 

These are the themes of the Silicea series (Row 3 in the periodic table).

 

Once this is understood, it is easy to see the remedy

 

Easily influenced

Talked into being in relationships I don’t want to be in

I got an identity

I tend to do what a partner does

I do what they want, until I realize I am doing things I don’t want to do

I don’t know why I stick around

I know what I want to do but I get sucked in

I don’t really know what I want

I have trouble making decisions about most things

If someone else wants to do something, I will do that, I don’t really know what I want

Every time I am with a girl, I eat eggs the way she wants them

It gives me an identity

My friends call me Mr Anonymous

I have no identity

 

The problem inside relationships, is one of confusion of identity. This is Column 3 in the periodic table, and leads us to…

 

 

Prescription = Alumina 30c, one drop in ¼ cup of water, 1 teaspoon taken into mouth, once only

 

My experience of Alumina people is that they are ‘suckers’, easily talked into things by others, it is like they mold themselves to the desires of others more forceful or charismatic than they are.

 

Follow up (2 months later)

 

Reaction:

 

After taking the remedy, I had this dream that I had 2 fish, (which I had in reality and carted them around, didn’t like them but couldn’t let go) – carting these 2 orange fish around and I had to look after them and couldn’t let them go

In the dream I let them go, I was the happiest I had ever been

 

After that both girls contacted me, and I thought ‘no you need to leave me alone’ and I have remained strong

This girl who tried the whole sales pitch on me, but it didn’t work, I was kind of repulsed by her, realized she is not a nice person

 

I have decided to see this life coach

 

This girl I hooked up with, she wanted to go out with me but I said ‘no, I am taking applications’

I would normally fall into that, but I didn’t do it

I can see how things will end up, I make the same mistakes repeatedly and have decided not to do it anymore

 

So I am not seeing anybody

I am the happiest I have ever been

I took 2 doses, the second dose after 4 days – at that time I started to feel I had come down, that I was being pulled back in

And since then I have felt great

 

No physical aggravation?

 

I have felt really bloated – I am eating whatever I want

I worry about my weight a lot, I normally have all these rules about what I eat, but now I don’t care

 

Anything else seem different?

 

When I am at work, I feel more focused

I seem more at peace with myself

I turned off my phone last week and went and spent time with my mother, that is something I would never do

Concentrating on more important things

 

Anything that is not ok?

 

Some of my worry is shifting to my workload

My concern is shifting from relationships to work

I am worrying that I am not doing my job properly

I am worried that I am not the right person for the job

I have been so caught up in my personal crap for so long, I haven’t concentrated on learning my job

 

I didn’t know how to do this before, I just couldn’t do it

But now I seem to just know – like an intuition, like it is simple

 

That first girlfriend, sent me a text, I told her to let go, told her I am a different person now and she has to let me go, I would normally give her a glimmer of hope but not anymore

 

If someone flattered me, even if I didn’t like them, I would go out with them – not any more

 

I feel lucky again

I feel the way I am dealing with things is so healthy

I have nothing bad to say about this girl, even though she is going around saying things about me

I am feeling great

I don’t have any bad feelings towards her, (gesture outwards)

Not an issue about her and me anymore (hands come in to chest)

I feel free, I am so glad to be rid of it all

I hope she sorts it out

I am glad to be free of it

I am on a high at the moment, I know that won’t last forever

I try to think back to how bad I was feeling but it seems so long ago now

 

Prescription = wait and see

 

An interesting statement was made by the patient

 

“My concern is shifting from relationships to work”

 

The next row in the periodic table is row 4, the Iron Series, whose main focus is work, task and duty. It is the row of Adulthood and its responsibilities. It appears the patient has become ‘unstuck’ from Row 3, and is moving into Row 4, which should have happened earlier in his life.

Dosage and potency is not easy to learn. To some degree it is experience that teaches you the best way to use it- you need to remain flexible around these aspects, individuals will respond differently and just like the remdey selection you must choose a good 'fit'.

 

In this case, the patient always wanted to tell a story - the facts of his life, what happened. This is where he constantly expressed himself. He would dip into the emotions, but never as far as delusion. This way of expressing can be found most commonly at the 30c level. Despite giving him opportunity to do so, he did not move far from this level.

 

30c is the level of fact - not emotions. The person will tend to express their problems in terms of the facts. On a mental level this tends to come out as a story told about their problem, rather than the emotions felt during the problem. Of course most people are able to express themselves on all levels if pushed, and will move up and down a little. But they will always tend to retreat to the level that is most comfortable for them.

 

It took me awhile to get the hang of this idea of levels and expression. Because most people use Name, Fact, Feeling, Imagination, Sensation to describe various things, I had to learn to become alert to the Retreat Point (my phrase). Where do they go back to, when you let them? A person who lives at the level of emotion will keep referring back to their guilt, or their anger, or how hurt they were. A person who lives at the level of imagination will constantly describe situations they believe themselves to be in (those people were out to get me, human beings are savage as wolves, my wife is going to leave me etc). A person living at the level of fact continues to tell a story, often creating timelines for you, or moving into new stories about what happened. Not an imaginary story but more or less a real one (from their perspective).

 

You can find the Retreat Point by changing the direction of your questions suddenly. The person will immediately respond through the level they normally live at. People will often ask you if they should describe things in a particular way. For example if you suddenly ask the to talk about their childhood they will say "Do you mean how did I feel as a child?"(feeling) or "Do you want to know what my parents were like?"(fact).

 

I think that potency is more complex than just boiling it down to one system - potency can also be selected on the basis of vitality, strength or intensity of the disease too. Children seem to respond best to the 200c potency for many things. They do not respond as well to 30c (this is pretty generalized from my experiences over the years).

 

[Helena Mykrä]

Thank you for this case! I have noticed the same about potencies in children. 200C works often fine with difficult thoughts, self concience and children with dominating parents. With skin I often use LM-potencies because the reasons could be the same but for longer periods.

Thinking - feeling - knowing - words are so interesting and how children use them. When I ask the child eg. where is your fear he can show his stomach or head or back or high above his head. Children can express they feelings, knowing and words more freely than adults - according to my experiencies. When we grow older we start to think more and produce words from the 'intelligent world'
It was quite interesting to see Alumina this way, thank you!

[David Kempson]

Yes I think children naturally express themselves at that level of 200c (feeling).

[Debby Bruck]

We are so fortunate to have you in our community. Each post teaches us more and more about using the sensation method with graphic details and explanation. Blessings, Debby

[David Kempson]

I am so pleased you are enjoying reading them. I have loads of these floating around - I will see if I can get permission to post more of them.

Debby am I getting across enough of the essence of each remedy? If not I can try and distill it down for some of these cases if you think it might be helpful.

[Debby Bruck]

I love what you are doing. How can you distill it down further? It's wonderful to have the actual case conversation, as the reader tries to figure out where you are leading us. Then to learn at the end you're thinking and to find out the (mystery) remedy.